Day: August 21, 2018

Conversations Around the Table

We don’t get to be together, all eight of us, that often, so we enjoy spending that time to talk and laugh, and exchange life updates and confidences. It makes me happy to see Cyril bond with Gram. Even Cléo looks like she has cheered up now.

The afternoon has already well rolled in when Gram gets up, the first of us to give in to the appeal of the nap. She’s getting my bed in the pool house, where it’s quiet and comfortable, Mom and Dad are napping upstairs, the kids are sharing a bed, Miranda is in Cléo’s room, and it leaves Dad and I, together in the living room, half-watching a comedy, half dozing off on the couch.

Tonight, we’re all heading to Gram’s together to pay our respects to my grandmothers and great-grandfathers, but for now… we enjoy the comfy atmosphere of a sleepy house.

Elders Day Family Lunch

Once the rest of our family is here, I ring the bell to call everybody to the table for tofurkey, brought by the very vegetarian Gram. It’s delicious, and we empty our plates before you have the time to say “diet”. Or think it.

And then it takes us an eternity to find it in ourselves to get back up from the table.

We don’t have to say a word, but we all know we’ll be taking a very long nap before we go anywhere.

Lighting Candles

On Elders Day we light candles as a family, theoretically one for each member of our ancestry we wish to honor. In practice, just light as many candles as you can. It’s pretty, and it makes us feel good, and you can never honor the people that came before you too much.

If you know anything about us, by now you know that Mom is the family leader, so it’s up to her to light the candles for the heirs before her and their families. We gather around her and watch as each wick catches fire.

Aileen — Ariana — Loana — Beverly — Lucie. It starts with one candle for each of them, and then Mom stops enumerating them out loud. Is it because she assumes we know all of the heirs before Lucie, or does she not know who came before her either? Or does she just not want us to know? At this point I don’t know, but I won’t demand answers today. You don’t fight on Elders Day.

Cold Morning

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Elders Day is the first day of winter, and the weather won’t let you forget it. When we wake up it’s still night, and a glance outside is enough to know we’ll be needing our coats today.

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At breakfastwe’re already all dressed for the day. It’s not a funeral, or even really a sad day at all, but the custom is to wear black, and to look as nice as we can.

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Another custom is to spend time as a family. It is, after all, the day to remember our ancestors.

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But Cléo is not in a talkative mood. She chows down on some Frankenstein cake, avoiding eye contact with me.

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Not that I find this that discouraging.

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Dad is the last one to get ready, and he joins us into the kitchen. Soon, we’ll start lighting the candles together. Well, more candles.

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Cléo clearly still wishes she were somewhere else. Or maybe she’s just mad at me.

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