Paying Respects
Elders Day is about the celebration of family, and the lives of those before us. It’s not an inherently sad day.
But in front of the tomb of my grandmothers, it’s hard to keep the tears in. So Mom and I don’t try.
The Graveyard
Before she left this morning, Gram made sure the graveyard was ready for the day. She placed the candles and the flowers, and we are only adding our own now.
I’m a bit puzzled as to how the candles can be lit when we arrive. If Gram had lit them before she left, wouldn’t they have melted entirely by now? And why would she have lit them without us? But I push the thought away. In any case the results are beautiful. Aunt Miranda and I, in particular, are mesmerized.
Gram’s House
On the night of Elders Day, we want to pay our respects to my grandmothers, and to Gram’s late husbands. All four of them are buried at the family home in Brindleton Bay.
It’s still very much in the spirit of Halloween. We’ll have to think to help her clear the decorations, but for tonight it’s perfect. The more candles, the happier the Elders Day.
Conversations Around the Table
We don’t get to be together, all eight of us, that often, so we enjoy spending that time to talk and laugh, and exchange life updates and confidences. It makes me happy to see Cyril bond with Gram. Even Cléo looks like she has cheered up now.
The afternoon has already well rolled in when Gram gets up, the first of us to give in to the appeal of the nap. She’s getting my bed in the pool house, where it’s quiet and comfortable, Mom and Dad are napping upstairs, the kids are sharing a bed, Miranda is in Cléo’s room, and it leaves Dad and I, together in the living room, half-watching a comedy, half dozing off on the couch.
Tonight, we’re all heading to Gram’s together to pay our respects to my grandmothers and great-grandfathers, but for now… we enjoy the comfy atmosphere of a sleepy house.
Elders Day Family Lunch
Once the rest of our family is here, I ring the bell to call everybody to the table for tofurkey, brought by the very vegetarian Gram. It’s delicious, and we empty our plates before you have the time to say “diet”. Or think it.
And then it takes us an eternity to find it in ourselves to get back up from the table.
We don’t have to say a word, but we all know we’ll be taking a very long nap before we go anywhere.
Tradition Fulfilled
We lit up the candles, all eleven of them, and this is the first milestone in our Elders Day. Now Mom is calling Gram, aunt Miranda and Nolan, asking them if they will be on time for our second milestone: family lunch.
Lighting Candles
On Elders Day we light candles as a family, theoretically one for each member of our ancestry we wish to honor. In practice, just light as many candles as you can. It’s pretty, and it makes us feel good, and you can never honor the people that came before you too much.
If you know anything about us, by now you know that Mom is the family leader, so it’s up to her to light the candles for the heirs before her and their families. We gather around her and watch as each wick catches fire.
Aileen — Ariana — Loana — Beverly — Lucie. It starts with one candle for each of them, and then Mom stops enumerating them out loud. Is it because she assumes we know all of the heirs before Lucie, or does she not know who came before her either? Or does she just not want us to know? At this point I don’t know, but I won’t demand answers today. You don’t fight on Elders Day.
Cold Morning
Elders Day is the first day of winter, and the weather won’t let you forget it. When we wake up it’s still night, and a glance outside is enough to know we’ll be needing our coats today.
At breakfastwe’re already all dressed for the day. It’s not a funeral, or even really a sad day at all, but the custom is to wear black, and to look as nice as we can.
Another custom is to spend time as a family. It is, after all, the day to remember our ancestors.
But Cléo is not in a talkative mood. She chows down on some Frankenstein cake, avoiding eye contact with me.
Not that I find this that discouraging.
Dad is the last one to get ready, and he joins us into the kitchen. Soon, we’ll start lighting the candles together. Well, more candles.
Cléo clearly still wishes she were somewhere else. Or maybe she’s just mad at me.
After the Party
Once the party is over, well after midnight, we can finally sit down and relax, the five of us together. The horror movie schoolgirl, the zombie legionnaires, the fairy and the ninja, sitting on orange sofas. We chat, and exchange a few more jokes. And most importantly, we attack the leftovers. There is a lot of them, and we’ve basically got dessert sorted for the next three days.
But the truth is, as much as we would want to, we can’t stay up too late tonight. Tomorrow is Ancestors Day, and we will have to wake up early. And we’re going to bed happy. Spooky Day was wonderful. 🎃
Spooky Story
Spend enough time in Selvadorada, and you’ll learn the best spooky stories.
The Stewarts Family (and other shenanigans) 